So, most of you have read my posts over the past few weeks, and somewhat know what is going on and how things have changed around here. But, for those who have not, I figured I better share my story.
Let's rewind back to the end of 2017.
I had become a stagnant photographer. One who didn't, and couldn't, get excited about pretty much anything session wise. I found myself in a place that was a very difficult one to be in. I was unhappy. "How did this happen? How did I get here?", I asked myself so. many. times. I didn't know. I had been doing this for so long that over the time I had become spread too thin, too bitter, too jaded, and too unhappy. I was super sad about it. I had been saying way too many "Yes's" to things that did not make me happy. To sessions I didn't want to take.. To weddings that kept me from my family on special days.. To people who didn't value MY time or MY work.
Y'all, that is a really hard place to be.
To feel like it's a job, and not a passion, is terrible. At one time I had loved it so much. And somehow, I ended up here. Sad. And Unhappy. And it was terrible.
So, being the person that I am....I started doing some thinking. Thinking about the direction I wanted my business to take, to where I wanted to go, to how I wanted to grow as an artist. My mind whirred nonstop for over a week. And then it came to me...it had been right in front of me for YEARS. I had been attempting to do it for my own kids, but failing because my time was filled with other people's special things. I wanted magic. I wanted whimsical. I wanted to CREATE that magic for other people and their kids that couldn't for themselves. I wanted to make memories that stood out from the photographers in my area that is overly saturated with photographers.
I started scheming. I started pushing some boundaries with Kenzi in the house. I started taking inspiration from things, and people, and movies that I found beautiful. And soon....I found myself happy. So, I kept pushing. I kept doing things so far our of my normal that I was afraid people would tell me that they didn't work. Or they sucked. Or that there was no way I could make money doing what I was doing.
I started learning photoshop...like, REALLY learning photoshop. Can you believe that I have been doing this for the better part of 9 years, and I never really knew how to work it? Photographers have things called "Actions" these are things for photoshop that OTHER photographers make that we buy in order to try to achieve a certain look. I figured out which ones worked for me, and I have herded my images through them like cattle for years. I haven't even changed my workflow in the last five. I literally did the very same thing to every single image. But, if ever asked, there was NO WAY I could get that look without the action to do it for me. So, I pushed myself to learn. I am still learning. I watch teaching videos literally every day to make myself push further. I have made Kenzi dress up and come outside so I could practice. Which before about a month ago, I would have considered myself "above". I shouldn't have to practice because I have been doing this forever right? WRONG.
Fast forward to the present....After nine years, I have started my business into a direction that for once *I* am happy with. I also understand that it may not make everyone happy. I will be saying No to the things that I don't want to do.. Which sometimes doesn't go over well. But, that's life right? I have spent the better part of my business life trying to keep everyone else happy. The best advice that I have ever heard, I heard in a workshop a few days ago...."Stop doing things that don't make you happy." That is profound for me. Is it really that easy?
My happy place is childhood. That magic. That wonder. That feeling that I get from seeing amazing images of my own kids. I want to give that to you. I want to step in and take more part in the planning of my sessions. I have started a stock studio wardrobe so that everyone can have these amazing outfits, and gowns, and dresses, and props to use to make your session unique. I don't want ordinary. I want EXTRAordinary. I want to give that to you. I will be specializing in children from here on out. That age where everything is possible and the magic is so real that you can feel it. My happy place is poofy, sparkly princess dresses, crowns, stars, vibrant rich colors, make believe. Those are the things that make me happy. So, that is what I will be doing. And hopefully people want to come along for the ride.
I told y'all this wouldn't be the most eloquent blog you've ever read. I write like I think and like I talk...scatterbrained. But, I CAN promise I will always be real. Always.
Let me give you some magic, let me help you plan a totally unique session to you. I am literally chomping at the bit to make magic. I love y'all..for real. I have always said that I have the best fans in the world, and I have always meant it.
If you have made it this far....gold star.
❤️B
